#maybe because my personal flaw is seeing the best version of someone and believing in that

[corevibeself]

Let Me Slap You In The Face (PAC)

Not literally... HAHA!

Here is the reality check reading from the recent poll I posted. Sorry, it took so long to post. I have been busy with school. Thank you for voting; hope you enjoy a slap in the face

Let me relay the message: This isn't to hurt you! I make sure my delivery is tinged with a bit of humour, but I will say, this is for people who are open to self-empowerment and won't see this as an attack, because the reality of it is, we've all got shadows; we've all got things we do that we want to change. The key is not identifying yourself with the parts you don't prefer; you are so much more than just what you see as flaws. This is never done to shame anyone; my intent is always out of the kindness of my heart and soul. If I do end up coming across that way, apologies in advance; I'm still learning how to communicate non-aggressively; I have Pluto in Scorpio in the 3rd house, HAHAHA.

I'll be using the Rebel deck for their straightforward messages and looking at some shadow aspects of my oracle cards. Enjoy the reality check, HAHA!

Pile 1

Ooooh girl, okay—"Who Says" by Selena Gomez literally started playing in my head when I read your message. Specifically, the lyric, “Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting?” Go listen to that song—seriously. I think there are more lyrics in there that might resonate with you. It’s a meaningful track because it speaks directly to those negative beliefs we carry about ourselves, the ones that hold us back.

You know—“I’m too fat to wear this,” or “I don’t think I can be as good as them.” That’s the kind of energy I’m feeling. But here’s the thing: those thoughts don’t matter. You’re not competing with anyone else. You’re only ever competing with who you are right now. The best version of you—it’s real, it’s possible, and it’s yours. But you’ve got to stop making excuses.

That doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. They 100% are. But sometimes our emotions are rooted in beliefs that just aren’t true. And we don’t want those beliefs to rule our actions. Just because something feels true, doesn’t mean it is true. Every human being is worthy of love, of going after what they want, of being who they are. No exceptions. You were born on this planet as a good person. Anything negative you feel about yourself? That came from someone else. So start letting go of what isn’t truly you.

You already know who you are—because what you are feels good to you. Do you like crochet? Then you’re creative. That’s beautiful. That’s part of you. Maybe you’re sensitive and cry when you hear music—that’s a stunning trait. To connect so deeply with sound shows your open heart and your incredible receptivity. These are just examples, but what I'm trying to say is: change your perspective and see your worth, pile 1.

I do feel like there might be some victimization energy here, not because you’re weak, but because you don’t fully believe in yourself yet. It feels like you don’t think you’re capable of what others can do. But that’s not true, and that’s not the energy we want. What we want is self-empowerment. The universe isn't against you, Pile 1, and if it feels like it, shift your perspective. No, this isn't toxic positivity; we can acknowledge our sufferings and the negativity of the world, our pains and feelings, whilst still choosing to see the light. I choose to see the glass as half full, because I'd rather savor what’s there than mourn what’s missing. Do you realize that every setback or negative experience has shown you more of yourself? Yet you choose to run away from what it's shown you, from what needs healing, to hide in the comfort of what feels safer. At some point, the pain isn't even about the situation anymore; it's just self-inflicted. A shift in perspective is all it takes to change your entire worldview. If you think it will be hard, then it will be. If you think facing yourself, changing yourself, and being authentic and vulnerable is hard, ask why. You will start to see all the limitations you put on yourself.

It also feels like you might be someone who people-pleases. Maybe you hide your true feelings to avoid conflict or because you’re scared of being abandoned. I get it. But here’s the truth: you can respectfully express your feelings. It’s totally possible to communicate honestly and kindly. And if someone still walks away after you’ve been real with them? Then they weren’t meant for your honesty and vulnerability. But others will be. I promise.

Oh—and I got a specific message for someone who’s a tarot reader: if you tend to sugarcoat your readings because you’re afraid the truth will hurt someone, or they won’t want to hear it—don’t do that. You’re dishonouring your intuition and your craft. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to want to protect people. But when you filter your truth too much, you make it harder to be authentic—and you deprive others of the real magic of you.

Pile 2

I’m going to suggest you stay open-minded, Pile 2. I know you think you know everything down to the tea about a specific subject or situation — but babe, you don’t. And that’s totally fine. Sometimes, you need to make space for other perspectives.

And this is specifically for my chronically online babes: please, go outside and touch some grass. We are not meant to be consuming this much negativity every single day, and I feel like it’s messing with how you view the world and the people in it.

I fully believe we create our reality through our thoughts, emotions, intentions, etc. Maybe you don’t believe that, and that’s okay — but you have to admit that constantly taking in content that makes us feel like shit… dealing with people who dump their trauma on us… reading toxic comments… listening to fucked up internet stories… all of that affects you. More than you realize. It affects your brain, your thoughts, and your emotions. And yes, all of that spills into how you experience life, whether you are conscious of it or not.

And no, I’m not saying you can’t be sad, or angry, or human about things that are happening in real time in the world, or that you have to be ignorant, it's great that you care, but living in constant hypervigilance or walking on eggshells isn't fun either so there needs to be a balance.

I’d also say to bring awareness to your emotions. Are you growing from them? Or are you being suffocated by them and using them as a reason to act a certain way?

Social media creates a fear-based, warped version of reality that makes it hard to feel safe being yourself. Yes, there are dangers in the world. Yes, we should be aware and protect ourselves. But assuming the worst in everyone? That just creates a constant state of anxiety , you start to believe that’s what life is. That’s all there is.

You might even be someone who unintentionally projects that negativity onto others. One example I’m getting is like… an online debate or argument. And I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid — they are — but make sure you’re not matching someone else’s energy if they’re coming at you sideways. It’s not worth it. Not everyone’s going to believe in what you believe in. Not everyone thinks the way you do. It sucks, but people are the way they are for a reason.

If we were all the same, we wouldn’t grow — we wouldn’t even know who we are. And yeah, that includes the “bad” people we meet. But what if you started seeing those people and situations as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, instead of trying to change them or control how they think? You’d be helping your own growth, and naturally attracting the people who do vibe with you.

Life’s not about changing others — you can’t force that. But you can become the highest version of yourself. And when you do that? You’ll inspire others just by being you. Through your kindness. Through loving yourself and forgiving others, not for them, but for you.

People hate when I say forgiving, as if I'm asking you to forgive their actions, no. I'm asking you to forgive yourself for letting their actions take a toll on you.

So yeah. Be more open-minded. Not saying you’re not, Pile 2, but on certain things… you’re kind of closed off. And when we really believe we’ve got something all figured out, we stop ourselves from growing.

I’m picking up on this mindset: “I’m thinking this way because it’s right. This is wrong. These people are wrong. I know I’m doing what’s right.” And trust me, I’m all for following your inner compass — but ask yourself:

Does it feel light? Does it drain me? Do I feel empowered?

That’s your real answer.

Pile 3

Like, literally, stop obsessing. It doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, and you’re just purposely making your life harder than it actually is because of some unhealed shit that you're aware of — but you either distract yourself or lie to yourself to make yourself feel better. When in actuality, your body and mind and heart are begging to be in sync with each other.

I think you tell yourself things to make your situation feel better than it actually is — like, not delulu in a good, empowering way — you're delulu in a way that is controlling and limits your potential as a person. You like things to be your way, which is fine, but has your way been working out for you? Or are you still dealing with the same old habits or situations, and emotions that keep popping up?

It just feels like the energy of someone who thinks they got their shit together — and you do — but it’s too much. You're not letting yourself breathe. You're not hearing your heart out. You're afraid of facing all of what you've pushed down, in fear that it will be too overwhelming to feel.

Like, please, feel your feelings and emotions instead of intellectualizing them and telling yourself that everything is fine when it's not. It's okay not to be okay. It's okay to feel like you don't want to plaster a smile, or do that assignment, or show up to work with the best energy. It's okay to not be as confident in your situation. It's okay to just be in a state of shitty emotions — because they are there to be acknowledged, not pushed down or told that there's a solution.

Your emotions don't need a solution; they need to be felt.

Find a moment, close your eyes, and feel. Where is the emotion? Is it a physical sensation — a tightness in the chest, heavy shoulders? Focus on it. Breathe in it. Let yourself be present.

I just remembered this quote, so maybe this is for you: "When we constantly think about the why — why did this happen, why, why, why — we’re trying to regain a sense of control over situations that were never meant to be controlled." This is a coping mechanism, a fear of failure, a fear of not doing enough, not being enough. BUT YOU ARE. No amount of external shit will heal the internal, NO AMOUNT. You don't have to do certain things to be seen as worthy, you don't have to have a whole load of money, or perfect confidence or whatever it is you tell yourself you need to have or the way your life needs to look. Ask yourself, when I think of my life and what I want, is it from a place of fear? of lack?

"If I don't have this, I won't be whole."

But you are whole as you are, and you struggle to see or feel that.

You need to become more comfortable with not having your shit together, because most of it comes from major anxiety issues that will impact your health, babes. Like, seriously, consider sitting with chaos a bit.

You also have great intuition, so I already know that you know you're not treating yourself the best. You're aware that you're controlling — even if just subconsciously — and I bet you can just feel how tired and exhausted your body is. So listen to that.

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FINALLY I'M SO GLAD I COULD FINISH THIS POST., Hope y'all enjoyed my hand swiping across your face in the most brutal manner possible, jkjk hehehe

[velocitross]

One new thing I did this playthrough is kill the druids, and yay, there's also special tiefling dialogue for that! (sorry for deleting and re-posting, iykyk)

Here's Dammon's:

(please enjoy Rolan's "you're an idiot," | didn't have the heart to cut it out. You can see Rolan’s line here)

This really just shows how much responsibility Dammon feels for the safety of the other refugees, he's so stressed and concerned 😭

His dialogue here is also interesting to me, since it seems something about killing the druids makes him trust you with his history sooner—as his line is a modified version of what he tells you in act 2. (And no, unfortunately getting this line in act 1 doesn't affect his dialogue in act 2)

(More Dammon thoughts below, now featuring even more Dammon Thoughts!)

In fact, the main reason I killed the druids this time was because I was trying to get a line I’d seen (maybe a bug/holdover, or patched out since it doesn't seem like you can trigger it anymore) where he does actually admit here straight out that he enjoyed his time in Avernus

Dammon's slightly darker side, the part of him that did get something out of or even enjoyed* his time in the hells, is one of my favorite parts of his character, especially since you get most of it from subtext.

*I use the word “enjoy” here because it shows up in that line I’d mentioned, and it also shows up in the devnotes (implying that he did secretly enjoy his time in the hells). I don’t use “enjoy” to imply he was happy—I think it’s very possible to be in your element, to be satisfied with the work and find elements of it enjoyable or edifying, within the scope of an ultimately traumatic experience, and I do believe that’s the case here.

In my opinion we see enough hints (Dammon’s “it [Avernus] should have been awful,” saying in the flawed Helldusk flavor text that he considers the experience “worth it,” plus the clear gratification he feels working with infernal materials) that I’m not out of line saying that working beneath Carixim was an experience Dammon ultimately ended up taking to. Of course there are also elements he’d rather forget—I don’t think it could be any other way when you put an essentially good person in literal hell.

But, I do think there’s more nuance here, and I think it gives us an interesting angle to explore regarding the guilt and alienation an essentially good person would feel around getting something out of his time in the hells, especially when it was such a traumatizing experience across the board for so many others.

I personally love this keen streak of ambition we catch flashes of in him—“Anyway, it was worth it. Worth it to be the best.”

I have to say, it feels very frustrating that the one time I dare to have an opinion or take a stance on my favorite character, I had someone coming in to publicly “umm Actually” me. I love Dammon and have spent lots of time thinking about and writing him. I’m allowed to have thoughts and hcs about him without being patronized or spoken over.

Anyway. I love the deep complexity Larian has given so many of their minor NPCs, it really opens up so much for us to explore 💚

[vulpisnocturna]

Heyyy so I actually just finished reading your Chrollo works and I would love to maybe brainstorm with you on having one where the reader actually is pursuing his affections, and maybe he doesn't know how to deal with it because its foreign. I would love to see him experience requited love, and the way you write is so beautiful!!

You’re too sweet! 🥹

Chrollo would be so cute in love and in a “healthy” relationship.

My headcanons are around this:

- Chrollo would be so confused at first. He would wonder what they see in him, what version or “character” he thinks he’s playing they are infatuated with. Do they see something clear about his personality? Do they ignore his amoral tendencies, or do they embrace them? Do they know his darker sides, do they see them, do they accept them?

- I think he’d look for a way to exploit this at first. If he was infatuated too, he’d probably feel like he won the lottery and play into those character traits they like to ensure the best chances of keeping them around

- If they called him out on it and told him to just be himself, he’d be impressed but also confused. Would probably ask something along the lines of “and what do you believe is “being me”?”

- Upon receiving an answer, Chrollo would do a lot of thinking about who he is, how he appears to people, how the one they are infatuated with sees them. He would probably test their “loyalty” or their infatuation by leaning more into his less savoury traits to see if they would leave, get scared or stay, whilst trying to keep himself as detached as possible to account for possible rejection

- To him, they would become so fascinating, and possibly the key to understanding himself. And yes, he would get attached, whether he tries to or not

- If they stay no matter what, Chrollo would start to become so attached to them and so fearful of a hypothetical betrayal on their part

- He would also start worrying about something happening to them, and would in turn become almost overprotective, to the point he would stalk his partner without them knowing and do background research on everyone they meet

- I feel like he would be extra jealous because he would fear being left for someone more morally acceptable. Chrollo is a confident guy, but when it comes to relationships where the control is not all in his hands, he gets nervous that his partner might choose someone who aligns with society’s morals

- He would seek them out for comfort after he begins to trust them. It would take a long while, but if he was sure they were in love with him, and he was in love with them, he’d like unwinding with them, cuddling and reading books, having them brush his hair, watching a film together etc.

- He’d try to be romantic. The poor guy would pick up some romance novels and steal “tips” from there, which would feel so forced and stilted 💀 They’d see his true romantic side in things he’d do genuinely, like stealing first editions of their favourite books, showing interest in their hobbies and conversing about them, intimacy and being a good listener as they vent or rant about something (watch the mansplaining though)

- I do believe Chrollo would treat his SO like royalty. So many dates, stolen gifts and nice food. He likes the finer things in life, and he likes to appear as a sophisticated, well-mannered gentleman. His flaws lie mostly on his morals, his arrogant, self-serving, jealous nature which stems from Meteor City ways of having to fend off others trying to steal things he has claimed as soon as he lowers his guard, and the fact that once you’re with Chrollo there is no way out unless he too gets bored. If his partner tried to leave him, he would see it as a betrayal, and turn to more drastic measures to keep them— see Yandere Chrollo.

[thetarotwitch111]

What’s their biggest secret? - pick a pile

Spotify reading: taylor’s version

Here’s to show you my spotify readings, is like tarot but using music! I interpret the lyrics of the songs that start playing, connecting them to your life.

✨help me keep bringing you free readings with some TIPS.

Thank you in advance.

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T.S 1:

Don’t Blame Me + August

They’re caught up in a love they probably shouldn’t be. It’s one of those intense I can’t get enough feelings, even though they know deep down it’s not going anywhere. They might play it cool on the outside, but inside? They’re totally obsessed. Like, they know it’s bad for them, but it feels too good to walk away from.

And then there’s the fact that this whole thing is probably long over, but they just can’t let it go. It’s very August, where they’re holding onto a moment that was never meant to last. Maybe it was a fling, maybe it was a situationship that burned out fast, but here they are, still thinking about it, still waiting for something to happen that just won’t.

They’re stuck in the past, replaying it all in their head. They act like they’re fine, but they’re secretly waiting for this connection to come back around, even though they know it’s a long shot.

Let me know if it resonates!

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T.S. 2:

Lover + Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me

Your person is dreaming of a perfect relationship. They’re imagining a future with this person, but they’re not being fully real. They’re hiding parts of themselves because they’re scared that if they show who they really are, it’s going to mess everything up.

On the outside, it’s all Lover vibes, like they want the romance, the closeness, all that. But on the inside, they’ve got some stuff they’re keeping hidden. They think if their person saw the messy, complicated sides of them, they’d leave. So they’re playing it safe, showing only the “””best”””version of themselves, but it’s draining them.

They want deep love, but they don’t believe they can have it if they let someone see all their flaws. It’s like they’re living in this balance between being loved and being scared they’ll ruin it.

Let me know if it resonates!

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T.S. 3:

Anti-Hero + Cardigan

They’re really hard on themselves and they’re constantly overthinking everything, feeling like they’re not good enough, or like they’re always screwing things up. It’s Anti-Hero all the way. they might joke about it or act like they’re fine, but deep down they’re their own worst critic. Every little mistake feels huge to them, even if no one else notices.

They’re also carrying around a lot of nostalgia. Cardigan is their whole mood because they miss feeling truly loved and seen. They’re comparing what they have now to what they had before, whether that’s a relationship, a friendship, whatever. There’s this past connection that made them feel safe, and now they don’t feel like they measure up, like they’re not anyone’s favorite anymore.

They’re stuck between their own insecurities and the memories of a time when they felt better about themselves. They want to feel that love again, but they can’t scape the feeling that they’re not enough.

Let me know if it resonates!

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[avatar-legends-confessionblog]

Really sick of people calling the comics 'out of character' and saying fanfics are more in character. Like. I don't think you understand how this works. The creator of the content/characters decides who the characters are and what they're like. The comics cannot be out of character because the writers define what is in character to begin with. Your fanfics are not more 'in character' because you do not decide what the character is INTENDED to be like.

What they mean is 'the comics don't write the characters the way I wanted to see them or how I personally interpreted them'. That's not 'out of character', that's you being a fan of a personally idealized and/or old version of the characters.

Now, there can be talk about inconsistences in the characterization and then you start having a soapbox to stand apon but even then, I feel like people see anything that feels inconsistent and immediately go 'this is bad writing and the writers not remembering who their characters were' instead of asking WHY the inconsistency might be there because, fun fact, people and characters can be multifaceted and respond differently in different situations.

Case in point: Aang agreeing to kill Zuko. "That's out of character because Aang wasn't willing to kill Ozai."

1. That's false to begin with because Aang verbally acknowledge that if he had to do it then he had to do it.

2. This is a year later.

3. This is an entirely different situation.

This is not an unknown genocidal maniac, this is his best friend who personally asked for this promise. There are two ways you can interprete it and it still makes sense because, again, characters can be complex.

1. Aang doesn't kill because he believes all life has value. In agreeing to Zuko's request, he is not saying Zuko's life doesn't have value, he's saying the value of Zuko's life rests in Zuko's hands. This isn't a matter of life value, it's a matter of respecting Zuko's choice and right to his own life. Whether or not you agree with a stance like that doesn't mean someone can't have that stance. Many people do believe in the right to suicide.

2. (My personal interpretation) Aang is not agreeing to kill Zuko as a punishment, he is agreeing to kill Zuko as a mercy. The choice is not "kill or don't kill" it's "kill or strip bending and lock away to rot for years". It's like the zombie promise, where one character makes another agree to kill them if they turn because they'd rather be dead than be a zombie. Zuko specifies that he's asking this as a friend, as a personal choice for his comfort. Zuko would rather be dead than be like his father.

They literally go over this while Aang's talking to Roku, where Aang himself is like "Uh, so, that promise was kinda stupid because I couldn't even kill his DAD" and Roku goes "yeah, but you made a promise to Zuko" and that this was about Zuko's request, not about punishment or whatever. And then Roku starts trauma dumping as he do. And Aang goes "idk about that chief, friends be friends, just cause your friendship fell apart don't mean mine will" and multiple times people are like "yo Aang do it" and he insists that, nah, there's probably a better way or something he's not understanding.

This isn't out of character because the writers decide who Aang is as a character, and it isn't even that unbelievable if you stop expecting characters to be one note. This isn't Aang facing down whether or not to kill an enemy, this is Aang facing down whether or not to keep a fucked up promise to a friend.

Also, Aang gets pressured a lot in the comic and a regular flaw of his that we see in the show is that he's really fucking weak to pressure and regularly goes through this cycle of "I'm pretty sure this is the right choice" "everyone around me disagrees maybe I'm wrong" "ah fuck I'm wrong" "no fuck that no I'm not" "fuck all yall I do what I want", which is,,,,, literally his whole deal in The Promise.

But nOoOoOo, it's out of character because he didn't do what the fanfic writers would have had him do.

X

[ohwolfling]

Gale’s evil ending is out on Youtube now! How do you feel about it and is there any analysis to it?

[goes to YouTube because I have Toy Story disease and know I will never do this myself]

Ooooh boy. The thing is, this is an RPG. If you played the game in such a way that Gale would get here, alright. I don’t wish to yuck anyone’s yum. But for me this feels nigh on impossible. 

-please not, I have not slept right in like a month, this is not as polished as I usually try to make my asks/meta-

Gale at his very worst wants to be worshiped, adored, and praised. He wants to be equal to gods because it’s gods who have made playthings of the little guys. I don’t think that this kind of submission would satisfy Gale, nor do I think that Gale is someone who does direct violence on purpose, even on his worst days. 

Choice One 

As for destroying the heavens, I don’t know, Gale seems aware that being a Chosen is a curse regardless of who the god is and I don’t see Gale focusing his ire on throwing his testament to Mystra and having a crowd beat up a Mystra statue that came from I am not sure where? Sort of echoes my sentiments that while BG3 is some of the best and most varied representation of abuse and trauma on personal and systemic levels I’ve ever seen, it still has it’s little flaws, both because of its commitment at times to DnD lore and the fact that I don’t think that survivors/advocates/educators were consulted so much as we got lucky. I’ve talked about this mostly in regards to how the narrative fails Wyll (not because Wyll should be more important than other companions because he’s literally from Baldur’s Gate, an argument that is just… so dumb, your hearts are in the right place but jfc). 

Choice Two 

I just don’t believe in any version of Gale that wants to lead an army. It made me laugh honestly. 

Choice Three

ILLUSION MAGIC, CONTENTMENT, LOVE (djinn, careful what you wish for, etc, so there’s like… existing lore and stuff for this in the greater pantheon of storytelling)... This one had such potential. Disappears immediately, however.

Does he need a big statue of himself? What is that meant to communicate? I don’t get this. Gale likes pretty things and this world is still hideous for himself. God Gale shows us that Gale’s “Bad” ending is leaning into aesthetics and power-posturing. This is… just not in character to me under any circumstances.

Choice Four

Killing everybody is just plain mean. Gale needs something to gaslight himself about. Frankly, this is too simple for the kind of mental illness this man holds within him. The line says, “this is mercy” but nothing around it actually implies that. Actually kinda pisses me off. A thing doesn’t need to look menacing to be evil and I expect Larian to know better. A power move here would’ve been Gale finding he still feels hopeless after all this and detonating himself against even the Orb’s will! 

Choice Five

Gale could never wish for chaos to rule. He would get IBS. I also don’t think “people are inherently bad” is a Gale thing. That might vibe with Shadowheart and Astarion before their healing journeys or if you play them that way, but even then there’s so much foundational wounding that gets them there. This is just… lol ok. Gale very clearly loves children, at least in the sense that he wants to protect them. If there’s an evil Gale who would turn a child into a little killer, it would be against an abuser of some kind, not a mother protecting them.

Generally,

Let him kill Mystra and have chaos ensue that way, cowards. 

A Gale who would control or limit you would do so leading with pleasure, not cruelty (maybe some Willow erasing Tara’s memories vibes) and even where they did play with this they ultimately failed. It doesn’t serve Gale in any way to create illusory magic for big statue. Some of the language around some of the choices feels… very insecure masculinity? And I don’t particularly associate that with Gale. His problems with Mystra are not based in not feeling like A Man™, but in not feeling enough as Merely A Mortal Man™. That’s a reading that people falsely make of Gale of Waterdeep™ throughout the game, which is good world building and makes sense, as he is a renowned wizard, was a child prodigy, and is a known paramor and Chosen of Mystra. That’s the social dig at his facade. Gale Dekarios, however, doesn’t demonstrate any issues in that flavor?

If you’ve played Gale as a man constantly on the cusp of evil, you may have an insight to this that I don’t. But for me, even where things feel somewhat possible, it’s giving Daenerys burns down King’s Landing because we forgot to write her for four seasons in the middle and are bored now. Which is to say that GRRM has a few books left to make Daenerys accelerate herself and could do it in a way that is beautiful and breaks my heart but that ain’t what happened here today, ya know? 

This is an observation no one asked for but I think part of the perfect storm that led to SO MUCH additional Astarion content (the obvious being casual hornies + Neil Newbon being as accommodating as he is passionate [affectionate][complimentary][in awe]) is that the default setting for how Larian Studios views evil, struggle, grief, trauma, abuse, etc is in these very flashy, edgy tropes of Hurt People Hurt People being very literal. And that is a genuine and beautiful load-bearing wall of Astarion’s belief system. But Hurt People Hurt People doesn’t apply to Gale, at least not in that way. Gale tries every other thing possible before he comes up with the idea to restore elements of the Weave to Mystra through relics and such. And when he gets the orb, he’s moving to be sure his own inevitable detonation doesn’t hurt anyone. Gale’s entire story is about the risk of reaching out, of trying to connect, you literally pull him out of a hole of unstable magic.

As a note - Nothing I say here is too critical of Larian studios. For me personally, multiple endings of the same flavor are not what fuels replayability but for most people who simply play this game and do not examine it as a piece of literature or find community around the discussion of it, it does. Studios are a business and they’ve been through it working on this with WotC/DnD. I totally get it. But I’d really rather more in world characterization than additional endings. 

[chaosincurate]

My favourites from 2024

Note: this post was made for my website, and I believe that is the best way to read this post! For the linkphobes, I did my best to replicate the quality of the formatting here, but if you want to see the original, you can follow this link to check it out. Thanks and enjoy!

As I assemble my top 20 albums and songs from this year, I wanted to take the opportunity to highlight some songs and albums that did a very specific thing well this year. Some of these superlatives will be about the songs more objective qualities, while some will be about how they fit into my broader listening this year, but all of them, I feel, deserve attention for their own unique qualities.

If you want to listen to my favourites as you read along, I've made a companion playlist on Apple Music (with auto-synced versions available on Spotify and YouTube). Linked here!

Most underrated album of the year

Criteria: This is the album I feel has gone most unfairly under the radar. It might be an album that isn't talked about enough, or one that is talked about, but not as highly as I believe it should be. Or maybe even a combination of both.

Los Campesinos! - All Hell

Kind of like: Gang of Youths, Death Cab for Cutie Songs to try: The Coin-Op Guillotine, A Psychic Wound, To Hell in a Handjob

If your thing is indie rock with great emo lyricism and a buried but noticeable punk streak, this album should absolutely be on your radar. This album is witty, depressing, masochistic, sadistic, frustrated, and so much more, all while still being an exciting and mostly coherent listen. It's one of those albums that has that perfect balance between the in-depth, something-new-every-listen approach and the immediate, fun, catchy approach which makes it great to listen to regardless of the level of focus you can afford it (although, as ever, I recommend a focused first listen).

Concept Album of the Year

Criteria: The album which I feel has the most interesting concept and/or execution of that concept which is explored over the course of it's runtime.

Honourable Mention: Lupe Fiasco - Samurai

Just an honourable mention here first. I didn't really connect with this album as much as I would have thought, and I think the execution of the concept seems a little lacking, at least on first few listens, but I couldn't talk about concepts of the year without discussing the album which dives into Amy Winehouse's hypothetical rap career. It's such an interesting concept, and I hope it is more embedded in the music than I can see after my first couple listens, because it's exactly the type of concept I'd love to get on board with.

Magdalena Bay - Imaginal Disk

Kind of like: Japanese Breakfast, a moodier Dua Lipa, Carly Rae Jepsen Songs to try: Killing Time, Image, Love Is Everywhere

There's so much to love about this album, and you'll definitely find out more about that if you catch my top 20 albums list that'll be coming out sometime in the new year. Sticking to the album's concept though, the concept is somewhat open to interpretation I think, but I'm fairly confident in my personal reading of it, which is that it's an album about cultural assimilation of some kind. Broadly, it is undoubtedly about a transformation, but how sinister (or not) that transformation is is largely left up to the listener.

On first listen, I considered it a positive transformation, probably due to the album closing on the happy love song The Ballad of Matt & Mica, but on repeat listens I picked up on some less happy undertones. Or more accurately, undertones that were too happy. It gave me Stepford Wives vibes, and my current interpretation as of writing this is that the album is from the perspective of someone who undergoes a transformation from a regular human with flaws and expectations into an eerie, overly-smooth version of themselves, a Stepford Wife that fits in perfectly at the expense of individuality, in order to attain the "dream" of a spouse, a house, and kids to run around it.

With both interpretations, though, one thing (other than the broader theme of transformation) remains the same: excellence in execution. It's almost reminiscent of how David Bowie's "Heroes" similarly has various valid interpretations that all feel powerful (a phenomenon I wrote about here, if you feel like checking it out).

Boundary Breaker

Criteria: This one doesn't have to necessarily be a groundbreaking release, it just needs to force me out of my comfort zone. This is the album that introduced me to a genre or style of music that I previously considered in some way out of bounds.

Charli xcx - BRAT

Songs to try: 360, Von dutch, Talk talk

I have so much to say about this one. It's an incredible album with so much interesting stuff going on, and as I mentioned with the Magdalena Bay album, there'll be plenty more on my top 20 albums list coming soon, but for the purposes of this list, I'll keep it about what this album did that was new to me.

This wasn't quite my first electronic album -- for starters it's a broad enough term that you could argue anything with a synth falls under it -- but full on EDM was something I never thought I'd be able to enjoy, even when my concern of there generally not being any lyrics is addressed. So for that reason, when I saw Charli xcx starting to blow up in the build up to this album I just rolled my eyes dismissively and moved on. Then I kept hearing about it and got curious what all the fuss was about, so I watched the Von dutch video and... I still didn't get it. I thought the video was really cool, but the song itself did nothing for me. Then, a month or so later, I had the song on repeat and ended up listening to it over 20 times in a matter of days (which is a lot for me, I tend to like a bit more variety) and listening to every post-transformation Charli xcx album before this album released.

And that's the strange thing about this for me: it was Von dutch that did it for me. It wasn't something stripped back enough to be accessible like 360, and it wasn't something somewhat similar to the likes of The 1975's sound like Talk talk, for example. It wasn't even one of the ballads. It was the most abrasive and unapologetically electronic cut of the album outside of the closer 365 or maybe B2b (both of which are probably top 5 on the album for me too). Maybe we should chalk that up to Charli xcx being an extremely talented woman, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that some of her less noticeable influences align with my own. Either way, I couldn't be happier that I gave this album a shot. It really impressed me.

Although, I am now left with an itch for EDM-adjacent music that can match this album which also has some focus on lyrics and it turns out that just isn't that common from what I can tell, so I guess it's a mixed blessing.

Bop of the Year

Criteria: My favourite song for getting me up and moving. It's on the lighter, more upbeat side.

Honourable Mention: Kendrick Lamar - tv off

There weren't many bops this year that really blew me away, if I'm being totally honest. Espresso was a solid contender, but it was weaker than I would like for it to be my choice here. Thankfully though, Kendrick is here to supply (spoilers) two -- and arguably more -- absolutely generational bops. This is my slightly less beloved bop, but even this is chock-full of incredibly catchy bars, and that beat is just so fucking sweet, and the switch? Every single detail is exactly as it needs to be to succeed as a bop. Its never been so challenging to not move.

Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us

The only person that can top Kendrick Lamar: K. Dot. Basically everything that I said about tv off can be said about Not Like Us, but the latter is also funnier, and feels more righteous, as it tears the biggest rapper alive (at the time, he's no longer alive) to shreds, calling him out for pedophilia (or at least close proximity to it), cultural appropriation, and exploitation of contemporaries.

It was the moment we knew, for sure, that the beef was done. Drake got cooked and Kendrick ate every crumb. It wasn't even close in the end. Everything just came together so perfectly on Kendrick's side as if he had been planning it all for years (which I wouldn't be too shocked by considering the impetus for the beef was seemingly a compliment? Just one that maybe implied that the "big three" were all on the same level?). And this song is the perfect cherry on top of his master-plan.

Euphoria told us Kendrick was here for the beef beyond the verse on Like That, 6:16 in LA told Drake he was here for the beef, Meet the Grahams told us why he was here for the beef, and Not Like Us made all those reasons accessible, fun, and, to the most success, funny. Without any of those previous steps, this might not have hit so hard, but after the severity of the claims was laid out so clearly in previous songs this one became both powerful and infectious.

Jam of the Year

Criteria: My favourite vibey, laid back song. Just a groovy, chill listen.

Honourable Mention: Charli xcx - So i

Okay, maybe this doesn't quite fit the description of a jam that I laid out above, but I think it's fair to say the song is a jam (unless you're one of those disgusting individuals who believe "ballad" is a distinct category. Those people make me sick). It's a pretty minimalist beat that props up a beautiful tribute to a friend and mentor who passed away. Frankly, this deserves some love from me purely on the basis that it gets me teary-eyed. Every time I dare to give this song my full attention the line about turning down an invite to stay for dinner punches me in the gut. It's such a mundane expression of regret, but that's exactly what makes it hit so hard, I think. The fact that everyone has been the person concerned they're overstaying their welcome, or not wanting to spend time with their loved ones for whatever reason and missed the chance to get even closer to them makes the lines critical of your actions in the same way they're critical of Charli's. It's a very powerful moment in a powerful song, and the whole minimalist sound of the track makes sure you feel it.

Kendrick Lamar - reincarnated

This is the perfect example of a hip-hop jam. A simple drum beat, a chill bassline to keep things moving, and restrained melodic hooks. It creates a beautiful backdrop to Kendrick's thoughtful commentary on how fame has influenced his predecessors towards evil and an undesirable death, to then turn that on him, as he reflects on the ways he is influenced by those same forces.

Banger of the Year

Criteria: My favourite song for giving me neck pain or hearing loss. The real blood-pumpers.

Honourable Mention: JPEGMAFIA - don't rely on other men

This is JPEGMAFIA at his abrasive best. The distortion on this track is downright ridiculous, but as ever Peggy knows how to get the balance perfect to make it sweet without going overboard and making it sickly. The Succession sample that runs through the song is bonkers, the lyrics (which aren't typically the focus with JPEGMAFIA's music due to the excellence of his production) are in-your-face and surprisingly catchy to me.

I think it probably helps that the song leans less into the rocky sound that the rest of the album has (as much as I love that sound), because Peggy has always excelled when it came to bangers. His tried and true maximalist sound is the perfect formula for hearing loss in hip-hop and I don't think an album of his would feel complete without at least one of these.

Charli xcx - Von dutch

I talked a bit about this in the Boundary Breaker section, so I'll keep this brief, but the special thing about this track is the production for me. It isn't a maximalist piece like the honourable mention at all, there are very few elements in this song, but the way the bass and vocals are distorted, and the presence that unsettling metallic shrieking sound that kicks in at the chorus has makes the mix seem so full but keeps things extremely memorable to the point where (if I was talented enough to create those sounds in the first place) I could probably recreate the song by memory and get it pretty accurate. For what it's worth, I believe 360 is very similar in that regard. If it wasn't clear that Charli and co. are masters of their craft before, I think the likes of this track settled it.

Favourite Finds of 2024

Criteria: My favourite album and song that I discovered this year that isn't a new release. It might be a massive release I only got around to listening to critically this year, or maybe it's a niche release that few people know about. So long as it wasn't initially released this year, but I only gave it a real listen this year, it counts.

Song pick

Madonna - Papa Don't Preach

If I hadn't gotten around to a proper listen of Madonna's music so late in the year, I probably would have made a think-piece on her legacy by now, because I was very shocked to find out just how huge and influential she was in her prime considering how little she seems to get mentioned now. Of course I knew she was an icon, and I knew there were a few songs I had heard in passing, and even a few that I quite liked to the limited extent I can when I'm not really paying attention to it, but I got the overwhelming feeling that we aren't giving Madonna her flowers nowadays.

This song in particular is probably pushing up against the boundaries of this superlative though, because this was always the Madonna song that stuck with me whenever I heard it on the radio, and I was already pretty familiar with it before my first critical listen (which did still come this year). I already knew I loved it, I just had to pay enough attention to pick out the details about why, and now I can point to the groovy, energetic bassline; the solid lyrics that incidentally highlight how new the abortion moral panic truly is; and Madonna's dynamic vocal performance that runs the gamut, switching seamlessly but impressively between a glitzy pop voice to an impassioned and strained pleading to a growl, giving the song a beautiful rising intensity. It's fun, it's catchy, it's got an interesting premise and some added depth if you're paying attention... Pop just doesn't get much better than this.

Album Pick

MF DOOM - MM.. FOOD

Kind of like: Lupe Fiasco, King Geedorah, Viktor Vaughn Songs to try: Vomitspit, Rapp Snitch Knishes, Kookies

Does a hip-hop album with a classic sound that revolves around food metaphors and double entendres appeal to you? If it does, go nuts, this album is perfect for you. If it sounds a bit cheesy for your tastes, that's fair, I felt the same way at first. But regardless of how skeptical you may be of the album's theme, you'll be asking for seconds before you're done with the entrée. And those seconds will turn to minutes which will turn to hours as you dive deeper, picking up a new stroke of genius every time you give this album a listen.

I'm not exactly sure how many times I've listened to this album now, but I've been going back to it often throughout the year after my first listen early in the year and I still don't feel like I've scratched the surface. I've still only listened to a handful of DOOM's albums for this reason, they're all just so dense that every album, especially this one, is a gift that keeps on giving. Whenever I think about listening to a new album of his, I end up deciding to listen to the albums I already know because I know there's still some novelty buried away in there and I already know I love it. It's either the best curse or worst blessing I could ask for, but either way I'm thankful to my past self for giving me a chance to fall in love with it.

So there are my picks! As mentioned earlier, a top 20 albums will be coming in the new year if you still want to hear more about my favourites of the year, and I'll also try to get a top 20 songs list done before January is over too. And if you want an easy way to listen to the stuff I mentioned here, here's the link again to the companion playlist on Apple Music, Spotify, and YouTube, as well as at the top of the page (note: there may be some sync errors on the latter two services). Enjoy!

[ace-touya]

I don’t know if anyone’s listened to the Enneagram album by Sleeping At Last, but I’m going to assign each song to an MHA character!

Izuku Midoriya

One is an optimistic song. For Izuku, I believe it highlights his beliefs that being a hero means to save others and contribute to making the world better, and the confidence he has in heroes to do that. This song also has a few lyrics that I think resonate with his arc in terms of being quirkless.

All Might

Two is a song that focuses on the narrators relationship with others rather than self-reflection like many of the other songs in enneagram. I think this highlights one of my favourite traits that All Might possesses - the fact that he’s in no way arrogant despite definitely coming across as someone who would be. The themes of this song also relate to the aspect of All Might’s character that puts others before himself far too often.

Katsuki Bakugo

Three is an anthem for burnt-out gifted kids. A major part of Katsuki’s character revolves around a fight to be the best, and this song delves into the moment of realisation that perfection isn’t necessary, and that the narrator has worth even with all their flaws

Shoto Todoroki

Four revolves around learning to find the good in the world and discovering yourself. Shoto has come a long way since season one of My Hero Academia, realising the things that he truly wants and who he wants to be, learning to forgive, and forming friendships with people who he feels safe around. In four, the narrator is still working through their feelings, but they’re beginning to love the life they lead.

Tomura Shigaraki

Five explores the thoughts of someone who needs to understand the world in order to not feel threatened by it. Tomura’s character, all throughout the series, has worked to reveal the holes in hero society. He hates it, and he wants rid of it, because he no longer wants to be hurt. The narrator of Five struggles with detachment and a fear of the chaotic world around them, feelings that I do see present in Tomura’s character. However, the narrator finds closure and belonging through human connection. And Tomura found that with the league.

Keigo Takami

Six speaks on struggling with negativity. Keigo is an overall optimistic character, but he’s been through horrific traumas and as a result, that positivity likely doesn’t come as easy to him as Izuku’s does. Keigo struggles, but he ultimately believes that the world is good. Five portrays a fight with depression, and the narrator is constantly fighting their own mind just to stay alive, yet they also want to be there for others. I think this is the kind of energy we’d get from Hawks if we saw what his day-to-day was like.

Eijiro Kirishima

Seven is a song about adventure. Kirishima is full of infectious positivity who, while maybe not the most confident in himself, is confident in his goals and morals. He wants to be manly, which to him means brave and compassionate. Seven’s narrator is always trying to move toward their goals, and deeply appreciates the world they live in and the people they’re surrounded by. Seven doesn’t seem, at first glance, to be as deep as the other songs in the album, but it is still just as introspective once you pay attention.

Touya Todoroki

Eight is about growing up too fast. When Touya became Dabi, he also became closed off and secretive. Eight’s narrator is angry, and scared of healing, and is finally putting themself and their pain on display in hopes that they’ll be understood. Dabi wants to be seen and heard and still craves the same thing he wanted as a child: validation from his father. The narrator feels like they aren’t the same person they were when they were young, and that they can’t go back to that version of themself, and has a deep sense of protectiveness over anything that they see themselves in. This is my favourite song on the album.

Himiko Toga

Nine is about the aftermath of being what others want instead of being yourself. Toga’s childhood was full of pretending to be ‘normal’ to appease her parents and fit in, leading to her desperation to be herself and do what she wants now, because she was never able to before. The narrator wants to start over, and what’s to be someone they like. They want to experience life for themselves, regardless of what other’s think of them. However, they still find their understanding of others just as important as their understanding of themself. This is my enneagram!

[shadowmaat]

The Jedi were evil all along!

I debated replying to the thread I saw condemning the Jedi as "rigid" and implying they weren't that different from the Sith, but I would have been the only voice of dissent and given that one of the replies was from a Red Hat Cultist veering off on a frothy anti-Obama rant, I figured it was safer to just make my own post.

Look, no one is saying the Jedi are perfect, but they sure as fuck aren't evil, either. If you're basing your entire opinion on the thoughts and experiences of one individual then your view is incredibly flawed and you should maybe think outside the narrow hole you've dug for yourself.

From what I can tell, some of the worst critics of the Jedi seem to be fans of Anakin Skywalker. Or at least a carefully curated version of Anakin who was a perpetual victim and never did anything wrong. It seems to boil down to "if the Jedi had just let Anakin be openly married to Padmè, nothing bad would have happened!" Which is... certainly a take.

The one argument I see trumpeted over and over (and over) again is that the Jedi prohibition against "attachment" is terrible and wrong and makes them no better than the Sith. This hinges almost entirely on the idea that "attachment" is the same thing as "love."

It isn't. Fans have spent decades explaining why it isn't only to have their reasoning mostly ignored in favor of the more angsty/tragic idea that the Jedi were forbidden to love. 🙄

"Attachment," IMO, can best be summed up as a literal interpretation of this ever-popular gif:

[img: Rosa from Brooklyn 99. She's holding a small yellow lab puppy as she says, "I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself."]

Anakin has, admittedly, "had" Padmè for three years instead of a day and a half, but when he thought she was going to die, he killed everyone in the Temple, then killed her, and then continued on a murderous rampage for the next 19 years or so.

"Attachment" is dangerous for anyone, but especially for someone like Anakin, who has additional powers at his command, rigorous training in how to use them, and three years experience as a war leader.

Personally, I also have questions about whether or not marriage is actually forbidden among the Jedi or if Anakin just assumed it was because "attachment." I can see it not being a common thing, and I can also understand a relationship coming under scrutiny to insure that it's a healthy form of love that won't interfere with a Jedi's ability to do their job, but it wouldn't surprise me if Anakin never looked into it because it would mean "sharing" Padmè with others.

Even if marriage wasn't allowed as a whole formal, legalized thing it doesn't mean Jedi can't form relationships. It would, as usual with the Jedi, be about balance. Can someone balance their personal relationship with their commitments to the Order? Can they set their loved one aside to do what must be done? Or will they drop everything to immediately rush to their loved one's side regardless of the risk to others?

We all know what Anakin would do; we've seen it with our own eyes.

The point is, condemning the entire Jedi Order because they didn't give Anakin everything he wanted, when he wanted it, and without question is a little bit of a stretch. Plus, all jokes about his inability to keep a secret aside, it isn't as if he ever went to them to discuss things.

"Well, he didn't think he could trust them because they hated him!" Uh, no, they decidedly didn't hate him, he just believed they did. It all hinges on his beliefs, not reality. And while you could certainly blame Palpatine for reinforcing his beliefs that the Jedi can't be trusted and that everyone hates/is jealous of him, it isn't as if Palps made that up out of thin air: he built on the seeds already within Anakin.

"That's because the Jedi-" No. Insecurities are rarely rational, and while you can argue that the Jedi "didn't do enough" to help Anakin, there are a few salient points to remember:

Anakin isn't the only Jedi in the Order; they have thousands of people to consider.

You have to know there's a problem in order to help.

The person has to be willing to accept that help in order for things to change.

The last two points also apply to those who would condemn Obi-Wan in particular. He has to KNOW a problem exists and then he has to talk his way around to try and get Anakin to accept his help. I know from personal experience just how heartbreakingly difficult it is to help a loved one when they won't admit there's a problem or they won't listen to your advice.

I can think of a lot of ideas that would be fun to experiment with in terms of making changes to the Jedi Order, but most of them involve adding more distance from the Senate and none of them are about catering to the specific (perceived) needs of one Jedi.

[realpinkdiamondsstuff]

I've been thinking lately, and i'll try to keep this relatively short, but I believe that Spinel is a mirror of Pink's behaviour, and she would be a good narrative instrument to better understand her. Like, she's a PARODY of Pink in a way.

She has been gifted to her to replace Pink Pearl,right? And PP behaved a lot like PD ( joking with her, helping her with pranks), she imitated Pink Diamond a lot,that's one of the reasons why they got along so well. And so, the Diamonds end up creating this gem which its entire purpose is to entertain Pink like PP did but without personality, and it ends up being a copy of HER own mannerisms: her childness is how the Diamonds see Pink in a way. They make Spinel hug everyone because that's what Pink did, they make her a juggler because that's what Pink likes to do,etc. PP did those things because Pink taught her, and they decide to skip the whole training montage and go straight to the end result. What they dont get is that Pink DID that because she wanted to SHARE her own abilities and activities that made her happy to enjoy TOGETHER and BOND with someone else, but to do that have to GROW TOGETHER. Instead, the diamonds gave her a ready made robot that already came like that, and she couldn’t do much more. Also, since they made Spinel be basically a crude and unrealistic version of Pink Diamond, she saw constantly herself in her, and especially in her FLAWS. Spinel is uncaring at best and obtuse at worst: she cannot grasp the concept of unhappiness and has no empathy for others pain. Pink must have thought often " is this how i really am? Am I so bad??" Also, at that time PD was going through a very bad time, and Spinel's uncaringness must have not helped at all with bonding.

But, the point is, Spinels flaws are also Pink's: she WAS unempathetic to a certain degree . If this is true, then also Spinel's behaviour in the movie is reflective up to a pretty close point with Pink's. When she was overattached with the first person she met, it means that Pink must have been like that too, or at least to a degree noticeable by the diamonds, which tracks with PD's neglect and emotional uninvolvement of her caregivers. She probably had separation anxiety or abandonment issues, seen as she was left alone in her room or in the tower for questionable amounts of time. She may have felt used or uncared for after having completed her duties and betrayed often, like Spinel was after disarmoring the injector, but still very involved and willing to help. She DID have violent emotional outburtsts, just like Spinel's fight with Steven, resolving maybe in a similar manner. And at the end, she just felt INCREDIBLY alone and wanted a friend, but felt doomed to become every time a worse version of herself and being incapable of positive change, but still believing in other's ability to better oneself ( when YOU change, you change for the BETTER, when I change, i change for the WORST). This single line of dialogue could very well apply to the both of them equally, marking this parallels.

All of that to say that placing Spinel and Pink against one another and hating only one or the other blinds us to this interconnection and mirroring between the two, which imo would help tremendously the fandom to understand Pink better. I believe this would make the discourse around Pink's abandonment of Spinel a lot more nuanced and would lessen the toxicity in the fandom. This are just my two cents ofc.

[rhielizabethj]

You’ve trained me well. You stripped away my confidence, my back bone, my spirit and left me broken. Where did the pervious version of me go? I was healing, I was happy I was full of promise. Now I’m left shattered, confused, raw.

Everytime you told me I was stupid, I was the problem, everytime you would yell at me, slam doors in my face. Every time you’d diminish me to nothing I started to believe it. I’m left sitting here wondering what is so wrong about the person I am? Was I not loveable? Was I not good enough? Was I not worth working through your own trauma so you could show up in a healthy way for me? I feel unworthy of love, I feel like your words and treatment have rewired my brain. Everything you said to me feels like truth now, even though there’s a tiny piece of me screaming trying to make my brain understand it’s not the truth.

Little by little your abuse had its desired effect on me. I feel scared, I feel out of control. I feel like crawling back to you would be so much easier. We could pretend things are healthy and fine, you would probably be so nice to me at first. Saying how much you missed me, saying how sorry you are how you’ll change. It could be a few good months, maybe you’d be able to fill my cup up halfway before you switched and decided to smash it. We could play pretend and it would feel safe again, if only for momentarily.

But I think it’s safe to say we both know nothing will change. You fill my head with your distorted version of reality, lies, you make it seem like you want to change that you want to be a better man. You speak this into existence but the follow through is never there. It’s just another form of manipulation so you don’t have to face the pain of being alone. You twist into your distorted version and I start to believe it. I believe it because I want to be with you. I want to grow old with you, I love you. But then you yell at me, or block me from leaving our bedroom and I come crashing down to reality, I am forced to see things for what they are. They aren’t healthy, my feelings aren’t safe, this is not a safe environment to flourish with you.

The path I’m walking is unknown but there’s promise and hope. For once there’s hope, I know things will get better for me. I know day by day I’m healing. Every conversation I have with my therapist, best friend, people who have been in similar situations brings me to a place where I’m seeing through your façade of lies. I’m realizing the things you said to me and the way you treated me was wrong. You might never see your behaviour for what it really is, it’s hard to face the truth. Rose coloured glasses have been your vision for you to long. I tried to take them off and hold your hand, I tried to help you see the flaws and toxicity. I tried to hard to make things healthy.

Someone who comes from a place of love, compassion and kindness knows your actions are wrong. You don’t get to put your hands on someone and down play it, you don’t get to choke me and say I was drunk. You don’t get to blame my self defence as the problem. You don’t get to yell at me or continuously throw insult after insult at me. Your emotional abuse is quite literally that. It’s not love, it’s not kindness. You have that in you, I’ve seen the man you could truly be if you just committed to getting help, therapy, an outlet for your anger. You broke me down with every nasty thing you said to me, and now I wonder if this was your plan. Break me down so badly I become quiet and hide how you treat me. I think you hoped I’d stay this small accepting your crumbs when you felt like I was worth loving and when I wasn’t I was then punished with your acts of verbal abuse. You might not have left black eyes or broken bones. But the vile things you said has now imprinted on my soul. You’ve left a permanent scar in my heart and I’m so scared I’ll forever accept abuse with the next person I love. I’m scared that the impact you had on me will be permanent. That I’m tainted. That I’ll forever be apologizing for something that wasn’t my fault. You said I apologize to much but in an environment that made me feel like I was the problem, in an environment where it’s easier to just agree what more did you expect?

I don’t think I have ever been called so many names in the time span of two years. In two years I went from being the most amazing person, the most caring, most loving. You said you loved me so much that I was your light. But then you blew that light out and still expected me to guide the way. You wanted me to be your rock, but instead I became an actual rock. You hardened me, I shut down and grew a hard shell around me to protect me from the mean things you’d say.

I’m not a bitch, I’m not stupid, I’m not a cunt, I’m not crazy, annoying or unattractive. Im not ugly, I’m not a shitty friend, I’m not worthless, I’m not any of those things you said to me. You will never put your hands on me again, you will never smash a door into my back, or slam it in my face, you will never lock me out of a room or balcony again, you’ll never yell at me infront of my children again, you’ll never treat me like fucking scum in front of my friends again. You’ll never tear apart my relationship with my mom or family again. You’ll never isolate me, you’ll never make me feel like I have no one again. You’ll never bash my pervious relationship with my children’s father again. You’ll never bash my body or personal hygiene again. You’ll never tear apart my sexual acts again. You will never be able to treat me like that again. I’m realizing I won’t be someone you can keep in your back pocket for later. I won’t be here to see you continue to make the same mistakes with someone new, I won’t watch the new girl become “the problem” I won’t be here because I deserve better.

I was becoming a pathetic puppy dog chasing after you, you truly did train me well. Even after being broken up for a month and a half I’m still accepting you blaming me for everything. I’m still allowing you to be hot and cold with me, I’m still allowing you to ignore me and then gaslight me like none of this is happening. I’m still allowing shitty treatment and why, because you’ve trained me well.

I will always love you, I will always wish I was important enough to you to receive an apology, ownership for how you treated me, changed behaviour. But you’re not ready to see, you’re not ready to admit that maybe the abused became the abuser. I love you, but I love myself enough to let it all go. I love my self enough to release me from all of the pain, the broken promises, the abuse.

[messybuttrill]

People Love You When You're Fat But Not When You Are Skinnier

When you’re carrying a few extra pounds–by choice, circumstance, or because shit happens–people are always so quick to reassure us. When I was 185 pounds people always hit me with the “you look amazing!” Or the “you’re so healthy, you’re not fat.” And at that point, you start to believe it because maybe this is your best self, because people are celebrating you for being fuller, curvier, raw, however you want to put it. Your body becomes a symbol of your confidence, how you are accepted, and suddenly you’re the one to aspire to. But then, in what seems like a cruel twist of fate, I shed 60 of those pounds. Yes it was willpower and a combination of my body finally pulling its shit together, but suddenly I’m at my lightest, and the compliments stop. Ironically, the judgment rolls in.

There’s the subtle question on how I did it: “You’re so skinny now, what’s your secret?”, like achieving health and fitness somehow threatens someone else’s sense of security. As if. And there are always the under the breath comments about how you “don’t look like yourself anymore” or, my personal favorite, the “friends” who suggest you’re “too thin.” My body is not a reflection of a character flaw rather a personal choice.

So why the hell is it that when you are at your lightest, people act like it’s something you have to apologize for? Could it be behind all of the body-positivity campaigns there’s actually an unspoken rule that we should all just stay in our ��comfort zones” of what’s acceptable? When you embrace a new version of yourself–whether it’s leaner, stronger, or just straight up different–it’s somehow seen as an act of rebellion, not just personal growth.

This is my take: It’s easier to celebrate someone when they are “just like us.” When you are at your “heaviest,” it feels like you’re part of a shared struggle. But when you shed that weight, you’re breaking free. You’re stepping into a version of yourself that others may not recognize, or worse, now see you are competition. But to be honest, when you change, you challenge yourself and the status quo, and people don’t always know how to react to that. It’s almost as if they are invested in a version of you, one that isn’t “perfect” but feels more accessible and less intimidating.

The truth is, the way people perceive your body says that they have ‘a calling coming from inside the house’. And that will always say more about them then it does for your choices. At the end of the day it’s your body, your choice, and your journey. In the end, maybe my real question isn’t why people react the way they do–it’s why we let them define how we feel about our bodies in the first place? Because when you look in the mirror and feel good, that’s all that matters.

We seem to celebrate everyone else’s version of beauty, isn’t it time we started celebrating our own?

[away-ward]

Hey, thanks for the reply for my ask! The tiktok video i sent was under the username @ wanderbella_ and the post is picture of a blonde woman with some blue dress (?) the title was "you think you won? nah girl you're just easy". This one >> ( https://www.tiktok.com/@wanderbella_/video/ 7268488507641941253?_r=1&_t=8fChpFFVp7o ) just delete the space between / and 7

And yea, i think im just not a fan of unnecessary jealousy scenes, which was why i like your fic because even if some type of jealousy was present, it never took away much from willemmy's relationship building outside of it. I also agree with your point about will's potential, because i believe if only pd just gave him more on page time and development, he wouldve been an amazing character. He was so lost, and maybe his stagnant surrounding also amplified it, so why cant we see him doing something else that's opposite to what he had, that could later on add his growth or something? even his vacation and other good things he did before blackchurch took a backseat, they were only mentioned in passing, so we really dont know this "amazing will" that his friends saw, we were only just told about it. So we got the shitty version of him (especially the treating women like shit), and we were expected to like him and be like "oh will, so romantic!" "The best horsemen to treat his woman right" Like where?! 😒 Istg, this particular angle of Nightfall will was so similar to corrupt michael, its such a turn off: The same flaws of michael that i hated in corrupt, especially the almost to no development ON PAGE of misogynistic weak male characters who cant stand up for themselves and their woman then let others treat their women like shit in front of everybody, and pd even had the fucking audacity to write a scene where michael called emmy weak 🙄 (However, Was what michael was true? I think In a certain angle it is, because even emmy had acknowledged that there are somethings she didnt have courage to fight for then because of her situation, but she wasnt a coward in everything. Then we got will who is shit at everything, even at loving emory, because apart from being a jobless and useless character, even as someone who was written to be the MMC of the book, he just sits there in thunder bay on his high horse and complaint in his head here and there like an annoyng insufferrable karen. So these mfs can go f themselves honestly.

One thing about this series that i fcking hate is the men likes to humiliate others and even their women in front of everybody, and then "let" them fight, and rebrand it as "women empowerment". Its 2023 why are MCs still the one to define what women empowerment is? And why do female readers ate them up? Thats why i said, a big reason why the FMCs in this series was treated like shit by their friends is because the horsemen lead them by example. Like hideaway michael learned later to stand up for rika and not let her always gight alone like in corrupt, and afterwards he put banks in her place, kai in fire night for that prank, damon for overcrossing his boundaries etc. at least we see growth, bare minimum but its still there. But nightfall will, oh god, fucking useless, why the fuck was he still around alex after all of that? We never even saw will telling her off to shut the fuck up and go mind her own business. We never even got a sorry from alex. Emmy was better than me because if alex was my friend, i wouldve cut her off from my life, but then emmy was kinda dumb to go back to will without making him apologize and fight for her more too so i guess being dumb is a general theme for this series.

For me personally, i also hate that these men can do whatever they want, but the readers just buy whatever they say, without actually thinking about what they just said and did. The two most laughable quote to me are from damon (others are all from michaelrika lmao) where he said in conclave and nightfall about how he thought hes best around women now and women only dont know how to fight if they were taught. Do i disagree with him? Not fully. But do i hate that Damon was the one to say this? Fuck yeah. I had to laugh because really, damon was suddenly the one to say this? Its more believable if theres a steady character growth for him relating with female presence in his life, but nooo one day hes a villain, and the next hes a feminist 🙄 His stupid switch of personality was so?? unsatisfying to read. And thats the thing, pd wrote all these shitty scenes about shitty men, jumping from one characterisation to another within 24 hours, and still expect us to buy it under the pretense of "going over the edge, feeling everything, doing whatever you want, deal with your shame, dont run away from it". Wow, pd, youre so inspirational! #1 feminist! 🙄😒

Anyway, I think will's character is probably the second most disappointing thing i have to read from the series, with the other 3 horsemen's povs combined being the most disappointing thing about DN. Idk, i think i just hate reading about women-hate in books and unequally matched power couple where one of them is very blatantly weaker (oh on that note, the same goes with winterdamon. Why is damon's partner someone like that??? Shes so stale! Lacking intensty, and I very much agree with your other anon that winter was just so useless outside of damon and being a ballerina, and to me, its not even because she was blind. Theres a lot of amazing things that disabled people can do irl and pd didnt even try to do their research well and make her a more outstanding character. We could literally have a great disabled rep in DN, but nah, pd said, aint no way for non-damonrika content and disabled women empowerment today!) Even worse when that weakness was made to be their whole personality, as if he or she does not have a backbone or anything going outside of it. Will grayson was literally a person of himself, a son, a friend, a potential uncle, a lover, a family gatherer (or wtv you name it) and many other things, but pd cant even slip this into his character??? Ugh. I already had many problems with will's character but like i said in my intial ask, his bad treatment towards women just seals my hate for him, just like the three other horsemen. i hate him, and i dont think im ever gonna take recs with "characters like will grayson" again if theyre the exact same with the one i read.

Lastly, i dont think you come off as will grayson's #1 fan or anything, nor do i think it's a problem neither. i also understand that if you do come off as one, its not my place to yuck your yum bevause this is your blog, and as much as a stranger like me can asks you asks, this is still your blog and a place for you and your moots to have fun with your fan contents first above everything. I believe that even if you maybe do enjoy something problematic etc. from this series or from somewhere else, by looking at your anons' response here, you seem to know the difference between fiction and reality and is very respectful when you deal with different responses and opinions, so thats a good thing. I only came here to express my frustration, thats all. Thank you for reading & replying!

Hey!!

Okay, I was able to see the tiktok this time and I totally get what you’re saying. Will definitely used women to make himself more comfortable and Alex, if that’s who you were imagining when you saw this, shouldn’t feel any type of pride for having “bagged” him. The truth is, both Alex and Will are easy lays who require little to no effort to coax into bed. I mean, I think Will would be loyal to Em once they’re together, but outside of that Will has no guardrails to keep him from doing stupid stuff. Both he and Alex live in the gutter where that’s concerned.

, which was why i like your fic because even if some type of jealousy was present, it never took away much from willemmy's relationship building outside of it.

Not sure which fic you’re talking about but I’m assuming it’s No Apologies since that deals with jealousy the most. It was a struggle for me to write because I never thought of Will as an openly jealous person, but again, I’m not any kind of authority on the character and as PD as proven time and again, I have sort of a glorified “but he’s actually better than this” view of him.

That being said, I did feel that he had no right to his jealousy in any way. So I had to (for myself) find a reason to justify it and it seemed the best course to make it about Em lying all the time. Lying about the abuse, lying about her feelings for him, lying about other men touching her, not admitting that she signed that paper even though he knew it was all a crock. She lied, seemingly to protect other people when she should have been worried about him, and that's what he's jealous over. It was the only way I could make it work, because I also don't see the point of a useless or misplaced jealousy plotline!!!

even his vacation and other good things he did before blackchurch took a backseat, they were only mentioned in passing, so we really dont know this "amazing will" that his friends saw, we were only just told about it. So we got the shitty version of him

Yeah, exactly! I few asks ago I went off the rails about him because all these little things he does that aren’t really touched on and are sort of glossed over really paint a different picture of him than the one we see on the page. And had any of those traits been brought out more, he could have really shined.

this particular angle of Nightfall will was so similar to corrupt michael, its such a turn off: The same flaws of michael that i hated in corrupt, especially the almost to no development ON PAGE of misogynistic weak male characters who cant stand up for themselves and their woman then let others treat their women like shit in front of everybody

I didn’t really piece this together right away but you’re right. Will during BC and Michael before the Big Twist are very similar. Willing to let their friends hurt the girl they “care about” because their revenge is more important and “it’s what they deserve,” only to find out that their involvement was nothing at all and shouldn’t even be considered. Really need to find a different plot here. Also, as you said, it’s weird that both Michael and Will took the same course of action. They’re two completely different characters, so shouldn’t they have reacted differently to learning of their girl’s “betrayal”?  I think I tend to be more forgiving towards Will’s anger (not to be confused with his treatment of Em, just his anger and ability to justify himself), because he loved to such an extreme extend of course he would hate her the same way. His emotions swing from one extreme to the other. Michael was always mean to Rika. His love and hate seem exactly the same to me. But anyway.

pd even had the fucking audacity to write a scene where michael called emmy weak

there was an anon who had an interesting take on this scene. I’ll link it here. The point was about half-way down. I'm not sure which I tend to think is more believable - Michael actually had a plan with calling Emmy weak, or Michael truly believed her to be weak because she didn't trust them and wanted to hurt her. But I did like that this was a new and different idea.

One thing about this series that i fcking hate is the men likes to humiliate others and even their women in front of everybody, and then "let" them fight, and rebrand it as "women empowerment". Its 2023 why are MCs still the one to define what women empowerment is? And why do female readers ate them up?

You bring up an interesting (and frustrating) point, that I think is a lot bigger than this series. Yes, female characters should be able to defend themselves. But does that always have to be through physical violence? It’s annoying that every girl in this series falls in to that trap (except Winter? I can’t remember. Other than her speaking Damon into a sobbing mess, I don’t remember much about her big coming into power moment.). Like, female empowerment can come in so many different expressions. But for some, the physical violence is and coming out of humiliation seemingly unscathed a draw and I don’t begrudge them that.

Like hideaway michael learned later to stand up for rika and not let her always gight alone like in corrupt, and afterwards he put banks in her place, kai in fire night for that prank, damon for overcrossing his boundaries etc. at least we see growth, bare minimum but its still there. But nightfall will, oh god, fucking useless, why the fuck was he still around alex after all of that? We never even saw will telling her off to shut the fuck up and go mind her own business.

I would have loved to see Will tell Alex to shut up just once. If PD was going to create a side to take between Alex and Em (even if for a moment), Will should have had to make a choice and he should have taken Em’s side. But instead we had Alex and Will standing together and Em meeting them where they're at. That’s worth a scream, I think.

Yes, since Will and Damon had the most to recover from, I think they should have been the last two in the series. However, Damon’s course to recovery and redemption is a little more predictable than Will’s. Which is why I will always stand by the idea that Damon’s book should have been the series finale and no one will ever change my mind. We should have gotten the chance to see a healthy or recovering Will. A Will at his best, because frankly… we have no idea what that would look like. And moving Damon’s redemption to the end of the series means that we can do a ten-year epilogue where Damon is a healthier version of himself where it didn’t seem like it happened overnight.

Idk, i think i just hate reading about women-hate in books and unequally matched power couple where one of them is very blatantly weaker

I think this probably where we differ the most, because I don’t mind this (that’s probably obvious from the stuff I’ve been posting lately), but only if there is eventually an equalizing of power. We do see that in DNs, it’s just done badly like most stuff in the series. Again, the potential was there. The bones are good. The overall idea is really fun. It’s the execution that trips up most readers, and that’s probably because there are so many other books that take on the same tropes and do something better to a varying degree. Either the revenge plot is better or the friendships are better or the FMC are preferrable. It’s understandable why this series isn’t everyone’s cup of tea when there’s nothing solely original about it. It just happened to combined enough of the things I like for me to discard the things I don’t (most of the time.)

, its not even because she was blind. Theres a lot of amazing things that disabled people can do irl and pd didnt even try to do their research well and make her a more outstanding character. We could literally have a great disabled rep in DN, but nah, pd said, aint no way for non-damonrika content and disabled women empowerment today!

Absolutely correct, and there was that other anon who mentioned diversity and how we couldn’t really expect PD to do extensive research about POC, so going off of that, Winter never stood a chance. I did like that at times she showed her abilities in both hearing sounds others couldn’t pick up and actually hearing the words people say, pulling out things other people would have passed over, but I also feel that PD used her blindness as an excuse for that and had it never occurred to them to make Winter blind, it would have just been another character that did those things because Plot Convenience.

But this does pose the question: what could PD have done with Winter to make her a believable blind character and make her blindness more apart of the story? Because of the action this series tends to lean towards, I always see Winter as a liability. She needs to be led everywhere; I never see her fight. But that assumption isn't really fair to actual blind individuals. What could have been done to make her a good rep?

Will grayson was literally a person of himself, a son, a friend, a potential uncle, a lover, a family gatherer (or wtv you name it) and many other things, but pd cant even slip this into his character???

I don’t know what you mean by family gatherer, but I do like that he’s the mood maker of the crew. People tend to gravitate towards him and trust him for whatever reason. He could have used that to his advantage if he were smarter. I also liked that Will was the only one with family that wasn’t included in the story. It’s clear that Damon has more siblings that just the two we met, but we don’t care about those because it’s so vague. Michael killed his brother, Kai has no siblings. Other than their parents, we know nothing about their extended family. But Will has two brothers, two cousins (one deceased), an uncle, ect. Like he has an actual family outside the group. I don’t know. It’s nice that PD expounded on some of that even though it’s not really relevant.

i hate him, and i dont think im ever gonna take recs with "characters like will grayson" again if theyre the exact same with the one i read.

Someone is recommending books with the line “characters like will grayson” but they’re not exclusively talking about High School/Simp-Supreme Will? Are they insane? That’s clearly the superior Will.

As for your last paragraph, thank you. I do have fun talking and trashing these characters because none of it really matters in the end, right. And I do try to create a space where people can sound off whatever things frustrated them, or things they liked about the series, without worrying they’ll be judged or laughed at for it. There’s no reason the fandom can’t be a place for people to enjoy, even if that means pointing out very real flaws with the material and still be heard.

Also, thank you for reading all those other anon's asks and being respectful when bringing them up. That means a lot for me and I'm sure to them as well.

*bold not meant for emphasis but for ease of reading/skimming.

[deyasworld]

Okay, the topic is relevant right now so I wanted to talk about my experience.

Look when I was in my early 20’s, it was a period of my life where every day my brain would be trying to come up with a suicide plan. There were many factors I wanted to straighten out before doing it, so they kept me from trying anything.

Every negative thought made sense at the time, I had heard the worst insults coming from people I loved, and I distanced myself from my friends and fandom and stopped drawing. I felt like I had nothing to show for myself, and the only two things I had I could lose any second, and would tell myself I preferred to lose Absolutely Everything, than withstand to lose things little by little.

Around the time those posts were made, I attempted on my life two times.

I was terrified of turning 25 and stay a failure, and I felt like a burden to my family. I felt like I was going to do my family a favor by dying, they wouldn’t have to worry about me burdening them anymore. I hated myself so much, I feared the thought of there being an afterlife forcing me to stay alive somehow. And maybe part of me still believes this, because yeah, the negative thoughts are right about many things.

But there is something I taught myself to understand.

I taught myself to see the bigger picture. I learned to be okay with what I have.

Truth comes in many colors, and life is a lot more complicated than black and white. And while my self critiques were true, they weren’t the only thing I had to show for myself. I had to be kinder to myself, because if I met someone on my same situation, I wouldn’t dare judge them the way I judge myself.

I could tell this because despite feeling my worst, I had so many people, who were not my family, and some that had never met me in person, who cared about me, and valued my smarts 🥺❤️‍🩹

They were only really asking for my opinions and sending me their ideas, but it made me feel important, like someone they were building their paths with. I felt validated, and listened, and just humbled that they’d made a space of their time for me 🥺

I used to be bullied by my entire class when I was a kid. It got to a point where everyone got tired of bullying me and they straight up ignored me. I was a very lonely child, and I had to learn to be okay with solitude. The fact that people sporadically want my attention makes me feel important, and validated 🥺💝

For a while one of my negative thoughts was that the only way someone could love me is if they don’t know me for real. To this day I’m scared of love. I dated a few people, and allowed myself to trust, and some of these relationships left me with scars, but I survived. I’m glad I allowed myself to love, even if I didn’t feel worthy of it.

I learned to be okay with myself. Even if I hate myself still, I learned to be okay with that. Healing does not mean denying, and growth does not mean enduring. I couldn’t be better, but that didn’t mean I had to hate myself. You HAVE to be okay with being flawed first if you want to get better, because if you want to hike up a mountain, you need comfortable shoes.

It takes time, and a lot of effort, but every bit is worth it. Be okay with being angry, be okay with not feeling like the best version of you, because if you want to be happy and better, you need to be comfortable with “failure”, because when you’re at the bottom you can only go up.

This shit ain’t easy, but honey, everyone is afraid of death. You’re already beating that fear, looking at death straight in the eye. You’re tough, and you’ve got guts. This depression is exhausting because you’re your body is literally fighting for your life, and every effort to keep it up is a fight worth winning.

It sucks because nobody sees it, everyone judges and nobody cares. But it’s okay. Be okay with not being okay.

Treat yourself with kindness. You deserve it. You wouldn’t be this rude to a stranger.

And most importantly, learn to love the little things, as stupid and normal as they are.

I went to see the Solar Eclipse nearby, and saw the Aurora Borealis in my backyard this year. I saw my favorite band in concert last year, thinking they would never tour again, and went on my first solo trip. I saw two shooting stars two days ago, and one very tiny one tonight.

Some places I used to love closed down, and I’m still sad about it, but I also got to try an ice cream shop that opened near where I live, and it makes me very happy. I have enough space in my heart for grief and joy, and I appreciate everything I learned from these experiences; my job now is to make sure I fight for the good things that are in my control, and make sure they can keep happening.

Love your friends. I know they’re just sending you memes, and I know maybe they have other friends they seem to like better, but the fact that they consider you at all says your presence matters, and if you don’t feel appreciated enough, you can try again with other people. Be the friend you want other people to be to you; understand people have limits, and nobody is perfect.

But above it all, be kind to yourself. It might not make sense, you might feel shame, and it sure as hell will be hard, but you deserve to love yourself. For the fuck of it, for the spite of it, or simply because it would be nice, it’s all valid.

Loving yourself is the hardest thing to do, but it’s worth every effort, because once you’ve learned to love yourself, everything else becomes easy.

It is absolutely possible to beat your depression, I beat mine years ago, but I still have Executive Dysfunction and I think I need medication.

[tim-han-reviews]

Tim Han Success Insider: Tag a friend that who helps you feel seen, loved & understood 👇

Ever had the overwhelming feeling of being understood? Not merely heard but genuinely comprehended, without words needing to be said? I did. And I still do. Every time, it's like coming home after a long journey.

Take a moment with me. Think about that one person who resonates with your frequency so deeply that their mere presence elicits a sense of equilibrium. Isn't it magical?

This person could be your lifelong friend—or a recent acquaintance. It could be your partner, your sibling, or a mentor. In my experience, I've had the fortune of meeting such incredible souls across the journey. Yes, journey. The one that we're all on called 'Life'.

Have you heard of my LMA course? It's Linking Master Attention, where we focus on three key aspects—personal growth, relationships and communication. It's understanding how to tap into these areas that leads to successful connections like the one we're exploring today.

Now, let's pause here; right in the center of this moment and cherish those who stand beside us, recognizing us for who we truly are. They've seen us in our vulnerable moments, laughed with us in joy, and wept with us in pain.

They see us. We exist to them. They accept us, flaws and all. They love us, in spite of and because of our imperfections. Isn't it a miraculous feeling to be so loved by another human?

Let's take this further. Did you know that such relationships, the ones where people really 'see' us, dramatically increase our self-worth and love? Studies vindicate this palpable sense of belonging significantly benefit our mental and emotional health.

Take Success Insider for instance, my own creation. I started it with one aim—helping people live their best lives. I sought to build a connected, compassionate community of insightful souls. Why?

Because when you have such people in your life, their growth inspires your growth. They hold a mirror up to your strengths and your weaknesses, and in doing so, prompt you to become more self-aware – which is the first step to becoming the best possible version of yourself.

Being seen, loved, and understood sparks enormous personal growth. But the real question is, how can we cultivate more such relationships in our lives? Is there a magic organic potion to render this connection with everyone we meet?

Maybe and maybe not with 'everyone'. But we can certainly increase our chances. And it all starts with believing in one's potential—a tenet I emphasize in my courses and in life.

Let’s consider this: when someone understands us, they hold space for us to be ourselves. Similarly, we need to hold space for others, providing an environment in which they feel comfortable to express themselves. And it's amazing how much you can reveal about a person just by inviting them into a space of love, acceptance, and empathetic understanding.

Be the friend to others that you would like for yourself. Be interested and curious, show kindness in their struggles, celebrate their triumphs, and more importantly, accept their flaws with compassion.

Invest your attention where it matters. Be it a 5-minute heartfelt conversation or a lifelong commitment, prioritizing quality time always pays off. After all, it's the shared moments that lead to shared memories and deeper emotional understanding.

Lastly, be yourself. Authenticity is magnetic. Genuine souls recognize and gravitate towards it. By embracing your true self, you’ll inspire others to do the same.

Remember, it's a beautiful world out there. Even more so when shared with beautiful souls who see us, love us, and understand us. So, who's that one soul for you? Give them a shout-out below—I bet they’d love to hear they’ve made such an invaluable impact on your life.

It's your turn now. Start building. Start embracing. Be Seen. Be Loved. Be Understood.

And remember, in the journey of life, while destinations might allure, it's the travel companions who make the journey worthwhile.

[russell-crowe]

russell is probably definitely my most (publicly) flawed fave but somehow also the one i am most defensive about